Something in the Trees - FluffyCon Game Five (Nick Irvine)

Nick Irvine (that's "Captain Soft Scores" to you!) is without doubt one of the nicest guys you could ever hope to play.

How's that for prefacing my most (recent) humiliating defeat - the 20-0 drubbing Nick handed out in my fifth game of the weekend.


Nick's Wood Elves (NCM of -2) list was a no-Spirits affair that looked something like this:


EDIT - check the comment at the end of this post for a more accurate version of the list from the man himself. Thanks Nick :)

Choppy boss Noble with 3+ ward and big stick (great weapon)
Choppy fast Noble (Alter Kindred) with great weapon
L1 Spellsinger with 2 scrolls

2 x 12 Gladeguard with full command (or just muso and standard?)
5 or so Glade Riders
4 Warhawk Riders

6 Waywatchers
6 Wild Riders with some kind of nasty trumpet-thing (?!) and full command
Biiiig block of Eternal Guard with full command
6 or 7 (maybe 8) Wardancers with Champion (and potentially a musician)


There were a couple of amusing episodes in this game (admittedly some more amusing for Nick than me):


- 6 Waywatchers burst out of a forest, annihilating the Pistoliers in a single round of shooting. This panics not only a nearby detachment but also the Crossbows (a "parent unit") who flee sideways down the board almost through me entire army and astounding 42" flee move! Incredibly no one else panicked (could have been a very quick game)! That must be what it's like playing Skaven...

- a peach of a cannon shot at an exposed Wardancer hiding (not so well) in a forest saw the cannonball land on the Spellsinger's head. She wasn't part of the unit so no "Look Out, Sir!" roll for her! Typically I follow this up with a "1" for the D6 wounds roll. Sigh.

- Funny business vis a vis Knights fleeing from the Alter Kindred saw him take a cannonball to the face. This time the cannon did what it says on the box and smeared him across the landscape.

- The Reiksguard, bereft of their Priest after some solo charging foolishness, ended up "forcing" the Wild Riders to charge them. Smart plan Dave - the Wilder Riders ran over them almost like they weren't there. The two surviving knights auto-broke, escaped and rallied but took another charge anyway in the following round.

- Between them the 2 units of Gladeguard and the Waywatchers managed to dispatch the Flagellents, the Swordsmen block and (thanks to a Killing Blow arrow) the BSB. This was definitely the worst part of the game - after a good opening shot the Mortar was taken out meaning I had no answers to the Wood Elves awesome shooting. Trudging hopelessly across the board into all that firepower (while being mostly march-blocked) was about as frustrating as it gets. Of course I should never have put myself in that position in the first place!

- As the sole survivor of the army the Warrior Priest charged into the Eternal Guard in the last turn. He did this for no other reason than the fact that I was feeling so sorry for myself I thought I might as well have absolutely nothing left at the end of the game. We didn't bother with the math at the end but I do wonder if, keeping him alive, I might have still scored a 19-1 loss instead of a 20-0. Probably not but seeing red and getting all depressed and sulky (and suicidal)wasn't the greatest decision (in a game of generally poor decisions).


I think I ended up taking the Warhawks to 1/2 strength, the Eternal Guard to 1/2 (maybe, possibly not), the Glade Riders (fled off the board after an unfortunate failed rally check) and the Alter Noble. So, bugger all then. In return Nick wiped me out, had 4 quarters and 4 standards. Brutal.


Post-tournament I approached smarter players than I on what they would have done. I realised in hindsight I had played either:

a) incredibly foolishly
b) like a total moron
c) worse than the newest newbie, or
d) all of the above


Why weren't the Knights facing off against the Gladeguard? Why weren't the Flagellents facing the Eternal Guard and Wild Riders? Why were my Pistoliers placed in the perfect position to get instantly vapourised and in doing so cause panic checks on units beyond the General's leadership? Why weren't my Swordsmen facing anything???!!

I reckon "d) all of the above" looks like not a bad selection!


I unfairly gave Nick a bit of stick afterwards about using a 40k army and really this wasn't justifiable - sorry mate. Fact is I was never in control of the game, placed my units in almost the absolute poorest positions possible, played right into his hands with duff maneouvering and basically (just like I did against Marcello in round five at Fields of Blood - egad! Maybe round five in my jinx round of death?) failed to give a great opponent a decent game. I felt like a right idiot from go to (almost immediate) woe and if you've ever been on the receiving end it's not a nice feeling. Total inadequacy - not something any man can admit to liking a good dose of.

Hopefully Nick plays at Tin Soldiers 2 later this year so I can grudge him and attempt to make up for my callow performance :)


This exciting experience left me needing an 18-2 win in the last round just to break even and get 1/2 battle points for the competition. You can possibly imagine my trepidation when I drew Mark Owen who had a podium finish at OTT the previous weekend and, oh dear... it looks like he's using...

Empire.


Time for some immature name-calling using our worst psuedo-German accents and some good old-fashioned civil war action!